


Blue Box, Big Disc

by Seiya234



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Gen, Tumblr request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-24
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-01-13 14:22:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1229710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seiya234/pseuds/Seiya234
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or, the Doctor getting into various shenanigans on Discworld.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They had hopped dimensions after hitting a bump in the Vortex. Ace had proclaimed the whole experience as ‘wicked exciting’ and the Doctor smiled wanly and hoped that she didn’t ever realize how close to death they both had been or that he was still, in Earth parlance, a bit freaked out.

Then he had flicked on the TSV to see where they were and…

"It’s on the back of four elephants," Ace finally managed, as they looked at the world they found themselves in orbit with on the TSV.

"Don’t forget the turtle," the Doctor pointed out and Ace gave him a bit of a glare.

"Oi, I’m still on the part about elephants; I was working my way up to the turtle."

They gazed for another moment.

"Want to go down there?"

Ace looked at him and her eyes blazed. “Yes!”

———————-

They had ended up in a village called Bad Ass, just in time for an invasion of elves to try their luck again.

(the large woman who Ace half wanted to be when she was old snorted. “You’d think they’d have learned after what happened at our Magrat’s wedding.

the thin woman who the Professor had spent the most of his time with, and who both frightened and impressed Ace said nothing, but Ace got the impression of “they’ll never learn”

the weedy woman who was apparently the queen noticed Ace moving towards Nanny Ogg’s scumble and slapped her hand away)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From this tumblr prompt
> 
> "sir-fleetfoot answered: The Doctor lands up in Lancre, and meets Magrat, Nanny Ogg and Granny?"


	2. Chapter 2

Click-clack

click-clack.

The two men played in intent silence. The shorter of the two was a novice to the game, but the tall, thin one was not surprised that he had gotten rapidly up to speed on the rules of Thud, and was now, to quote his commander, giving him a run for his money.

click-clack

click-clack.

"I do hope Commander Vimes is not getting Ace into any trouble," the man in the hat said.[1]

click-clack.

"I hope that your ward is not getting the head of the Watch in trouble," the man in black countered.

There was an explosion in the distance, and to his credit, the man in the outrageous jumper didn’t even register a reaction.

"I know I can trust Commander Vimes with her life," he said as he moved a troll across the board.

A roil of smoke, tinged with a purply-green color that only the Doctor could see, bloomed over the city.

Vetinari noticed the sight through his window, but showed no trepidation as he contemplated his next move.

"I am sure they are probably spending the afternoon at Ramkin Manor," the Patrician said.[2]

The sounds of bells rang out across the city, but the Doctor and the Patrician decided mutually to resolutely ignore them and any other signs of crisis for the time being.

Neither of them were surprised however, when Vimes and Ace came back in covered in three kinds of ash, smelling of sulphur and the River Ankh, and looks sheepish (Ace) and stony (Vimes)

———————————

[1] “Take care of her,” he had said to the man who was only slightly taller than him, echoes of the Storm in his voice.

Ace giggled a bit inside seeing that Vimes was completely nonplussed by the Professor.

[2] And such a giant, complete, and utter un-truth should have gone noticed by the heavens but the denizens of Dunmanifestin had learned better by now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on this tumblr prompt
> 
> localblogforlocalpeople said: Vimes and Vetinari arguing, The Doctor landing on the Discworld.


	3. Bigger on the Inside

"Sapient pearwood?" queried the short man with the odd, punctuation marked jumper.

He made Rincewind incredibly nervous; as a life time avoider (or at least attempted avoider) of toil, trouble, and danger, the Wizzard could sense it all over the Doctor and his companion.

Rincewind went on. “That’s how the Luggage is bigger on the inside and walking around…”

"And licking the Tardis like a big dog?" the young woman-Ace-interjected.

"Er…..yes," Rincewind answered, who had long given up trying to figure out why the Luggage did what it did.

"Probably wants in. I bet your Luggage hasn’t had a chance to meet others like it." And before the Professor or Rincewind could say or do anything else, Ace had opened up the Tardis doors and the Luggage ran in.

Rincewind put his face in his hands because he just knew that he would be asked to go in and fetch the Luggage and this “ship” would of course take the opportunity to leave and then there would be….he shuddered….adventures.

It had been shaping up to be such a nice, boring week too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From another tumblr prompt asking for the doctor and the luggage!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the tumblr prompt "Vimes meets the 9th Doctor? "

Vimes looked into the box.

Then outside the box.

Then inside the box again.

He looked at the man with the big ears for a second and finally managed, “Are you taking the piss?”

The man with the big ears and leather jacket looked, if possible, even more disgruntled. “Yes, I just like standing around when I could be saving this city fooling old coppers.”

Vimes scowled and went in, ignoring the twinge in his stomach. 

The things he did for Ankh-Morpork.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From the tumblr prompt "The Doctor landing in the middle of one of Vimes' meetings with the Patrician?"

Vetinari was not one for outward displays[1], but seeing that the other two occupants of the Oblong Office were safely distracted with each other, he permitted himself to grind his palms in his eyes to try and ward off the massive headache he felt coming.

It wasn’t just that this Doctor fellow interrupted his and Vimes’ meeting by way of a blue box tearing its way into existence in the office.[2] Or that the Doctor was wearing a coat that could, at best, be described as ‘garish’ and at worst “the eye-melting lovechild of three rainbows”.

No, it was that the Commander and the blond, curly headed man had currently been locked in a screaming match for ten minutes, and not even he could get them to break it up.

He looked up only to hear the Doctor go “You are the most stubborn, dunderheaded, and irascible person I have had the displeasure to meet in three hundred years!”

Vetinari was not the kind of person who would ever pour themselves a glass of whisky at moments like these, but he did indulge in his equivalent of that, which was to gently put his head on the desk.

\-----

[1] Of emotion, stress, physical or mental weakness…you can really take your pick here dear reader.

[2] This was Ankh-Morpork after all. Vetinari was sure that if he could not find stranger going ons at Unseen University, a five minute stroll down the street would provide something even odder for him.


End file.
